Yesterday...One of Those Days

I had one of those days yesterday but not one of those days.

The big girls were happily off at school.  Gracie watched a PBS-esque cartoon.  We played Uno, Hoot Owl Hoot, and Spot It.  She traced her name.  We did puzzles.  We made muffins. A friend stopped by for a bit.  Gracie got her hair trimmed.  She had an uneventful quiet rest time while I read my Bible and watched Gilmore Girls. 

Yep, it was one of those days that you picture in your mind when you imagine being a stay at home mom.  One of those days when I am so overwhelmed by the goodness of it all.

And it is worth mentioning to you.

Why?

Because my days are never, ever like that.  

Usually, there is fighting.  People are spending time in the corner.  There's lots of disobeying, spilling, coughing (did you know coughing makes me crazy?), ignoring, and arguing.  I'm distracted or disengaged.  Oh, let us not forget the self-centered behavior and general messes.  Or, I the times I try to play blocks or babies with them and they are bossy, telling me that I'm doing it wrong.  Yes, apparently there is a wrong way to do imaginative play.  When they were little, there were blowout diapers, large amounts of spit up, and so.much.crying (but who are we kidding, we still have that going on). 

That kind of day isn't what I pictured when I imagined what it would be like to be a stay at home mom.  

But, the more I think about it, the more I realize those days are good, too.  

Those are the days when I realize just how much I love them.  I love them even though their noses are snotty.  I love them even when they get pee on my pants.  I love them even when they stubbornly refuse to eat the food I made.  I love them even when they are irrational and clingy.  I love them even in the midst of their defiance.  I love them even when they call out because they "need" something right after they went to bed.  I love them even when I have to repeat myself one million times.  I love them even when they cry about what seems like nothing to me.  I love them even when I end up so exhausted at the end of the night that I don't even want to think about getting up from the couch.

These are the days, too, when I look at Aaron and think about how I would never want to do this crazy little life with anybody but him.  

But, most importantly, these are the days when I know that the fierceness with which I love my girls in the middle of their messes dramatically pales in comparison to the way God fiercely, wildly, and perfectly loves me in the midst of mine.

And that's why I'm thankful for all kind of days.

Nighttime Wins!

Aaron and I like to say that Gracie's personal inner monologue is, "Play!  Play!  Play!"

In case you were wondering, my personal inner monologue is, "Cut strawberries.  Braid hair.  Stop the crying.  Cut strawberries.  Braid hair.  Stop the crying."

Anyway, Gracie's personal inner monologue has made for some less than awesome going-to-bed-times the last 6 months or so...but probably way longer.

And, bless Maggie's heart, she needs her sleep, so Gracie being chatty and playful at night wasn't going real far when it came to building sisterly community.

Nothing was helping.  I would go in friendly.  I'd go in angry frustrated irritated less than friendly.  We even took out all of her stuffed animals so she wouldn't have anything to play with.

Her response?  "That's okay, Mom.  I don't mind."

Really?!?!?!

I even sat in their room one night so that I could immediately ask her to be quiet if she talked.

Backfired.

The next night she was crying because she wanted me their room.

Whomp whomp whooooooooomp.

Seeing as this heightened in the summer, naturally, it was hot out.  We don't have central air, but we do have an alarmingly large window air conditioner that does a good job cooling the house down.  

We always have the girls' bedroom doors closed at night, but we decided to leave their doors open so the cool air could get in.

Bedtime problem=solved!

I don't know if it was the realization that Aaron or I could walk by at any second and see her making bad choice, but that made a HUGE difference in Gracie's bedtime behavior.  She stopped talking to Maggie and stopped trying to keep her awake.  It was amazing!

I never in a million years would have thought that keeping their bedroom door open would help.  Plus, we haven't had problems with any of the girls complaining about noise or light or anything.  

But, we still had problems with her calling out and neeeeeeeeding something from us right after she laid down.

She was no longer bugging Maggie which was good, but still...

Namely, she just had to poop.

I mean, I seriously think she conditioned herself to have to poop like 2 minutes after she went to bed.

This led to me saying insane things like, "You had that poop in your bottom before you went to bed, and that's when you are supposed to poop...before bed."

Then I'd poke my head into the bathroom to check on her like every 30 seconds, and I'd say, "Did you squeeze out all your poop?"

WHO AM I???  I mean...I just can't even...

When she turned 4, I even tried telling her that kids who are 4 only call out in case of emergency.

Every now and then, she'd earn back 1 of the stuffed animals we had to take away, but not very consistently.

There was nothing we could do that would make her stop.  We just started praying that God would give Gracie a heart that wants to obey.

Gracie is quite self motivated which will hopefully be a huge asset in her decision making as she gets older, but it can certainly present some parenting conundrums.  I mean, I can't make her want to obey.

Well, I'm happy to report that the last couple of weeks have been awesome!  Gracie has been going to bed like a champion, and I'm so, so thankful!

I know it might seem like a little thing, but I'm so thankful that God cares about the little things, too.

It also builds my faith.  I know God is powerful enough to change the heart of my stubborn strong willed daughter, because I've seen it.  Believe me, Gracie's heart didn't change because of any excellent parenting techniques. 

I can trust that God will change hearts that need changing...including mine.

There's Just Something about Morning...

We had a rough couple of nights last week.

Daughter-who-shall-rename-nameless-A woke up at 5:30 in the morning (and thought it was the middle of the night) and cried on and off for an hour and half.  

Why?

Because she had a runny nose and was doing some sneezing.

"A bloody nose?" you may ask to clarify.  

No, a runny nose.  As in snot.

Then, 2 nights later, Daughter-who-shall-remain-nameless-B was awake in the middle of the night for over an hour and a half because her bottom itched.

I really don't know what to say about that, other than I just needed to get to sleep.  I ended up finally being able to coerce her into bed by laying on the floor in her room.  

I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed that.

Back to Daughter A, though.  While she was cuddling by me, we saw the sun begin to rise, and slowly but surely, the runny nose became less and less dramatic and traumatizing.  

It reminded me so much of when my girls were newborns.  

I remember feeling like the world was ending when they would cry at night.  I felt so alone and overwhelmed and desperate.  Seconds inched by like hours.  Sometimes I was so tired that I felt sick.  For awhile, I even had the late night/early morning TV schedule memorized.

Did you know that when Gracie was a newborn, our local NBC station replayed The Tonight Show at 4:00 in the morning!  I feel like we're all better off with that knowledge ;)

I digress.

But, after a hard, hard night, when the sun would stealthily sneak over the horizon, I would feel hope.  Even though I had been awake for far longer than I slept, I felt better.

I don't know anything about "the psychology of sunshine," if there even is such a thing (which I'm guessing there is because of Seasonal Affective Disorder).  There is just something life-giving about the sun.

Everything is harder/more difficult at night, and all of those things seem more manageable and less overwhelming in the morning. 

Even my girl, Anne of Green Gables, agrees.

But, more importantly, the Bible tells us the same sort of thing.

When King David was literally running for his life, he saw hope in the morning.

I don't know about you, but I'm not running for my life.  Sometimes I do fight for joy, though.  I love the promise of God's unfailing love, and the utter trust that I can place in Him.

David is speaking more figuratively here (in the context of repentance and such), but the truth is the same.

I don't necessarily know why I'm sharing this with the internet today, but maybe you need to be encouraged.  

Whether you're up in the middle of the night with a new baby, a child with a bad dream, or stuck awake with your mind racing, rest in the fact that morning is coming!

Or maybe you're in the midst of a dark season in other ways...we've all been there.  Don't lose hope.

There really is an end to a struggle.  

There are bits of joy in the midst of sadness.

There is rest at the end of upheaval.

Underneath all of that, though, is the loving faithfulness of God...who walks with us through the difficulty of a long night or trying season.

His mercies really are new every morning.

Enjoy this day!

Perpetuating the Mommy Stereotype

Before I dive in, I just want to take a moment to lay down a big ol' disclaimer.

When I am talking about perpetuating a stereotype, I'm not talking about unhealthy, prejudiced, mean, hateful stereotypes. 

OK?  OK!

I was telling Aaron the other day that I don't like to perpetuate the mommy stereotype.  And, to be honest, I'm not really sure what that all entails, and I'm sure it's a little different for everyone.  

I think it started with the slippery slope that is the minivan.

Aaron and I swore that we would never get a minivan.

Never ever ever get a minivan.  Minivans are not awesome.  They aren't edgy and exciting.  They look like big eggs.  

Soooooooo, yeah we got a minivan.

And once we got over the uncoolness of the minivan, we found that we really liked it.  What it lacked in style and awesomeness, it more than made up for in its incredible functionality.

Stow and Go for the win!

From there, it's all down hill!

I found myself talking about my kids' poop.  A lot.  I never even knew that was a thing.

I was concerned about spit up.  Overly concerned about spit up.

When Leah turned 1, I panicked about her not transitioning to cow's milk very well, and said frantic things like, "She's needs the healthy fats for proper brain development!!!"  So, yeah, I gave her chocolate milk.

I cry on their first days of school...every year.

I consider grocery shopping by myself to be on par with a beach vacation.

I've been listening to the freaking sound of music LIVE soundtrack for weeks and weeks and weeks to make drives more peaceful.

I take care of them before (and better than) I take care of myself.

I worry.  Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.  Sometimes over the most far-fetched, ridiculous stuff, and sometimes over things that might be slightly possible.

And, most recently, I got really excited to see a movie about moms with some mommy friends.

Perpetuating the mommy stereotype galore!

I can't be stopped!

But, in the case of mommy stereotypes, certain things are stereotypes because they're kinda true.

And I think the underlying truth is that becoming a mommy changes you.  

My 25 year old self didn't understand what it would be like meet these tiny people who were wholly dependent on me.  

I didn't know that I'd be able to recognize their cries on the day they were born.

I didn't know that merely the sound of my voice would be the best parts of their baby days.

I didn't understand that I'd feel so very responsible for every part of their lives.

I didn't know that my heart could be so full of love even in the midst of being maddeningly frustrated with them.

I also didn't know that there would be times that I couldn't remember when I last took a shower.

But, the best surprising truth was how I got a tiny glimpse into the perfect, sacrificial love that God has for us.  I'm a wildly imperfect mommy, but even in my failures and mistakes and sins, I understand a tiny bit better about how God loves us enough to eagerly give us His best in Jesus...because that's how I want to love my girls.

So, yeah, I'll be overly excited when I drive someplace by myself in the awesomely functional minivan.

And I'll be thrilled when I can sit at a coffee shop by myself with a book.

I'll get choked up when I realize that my daughters are getting older before my very eyes.

I'll still be concerned when they face new challenges.

But, I'll do those things with my own personal witty flair, and I'll OWN it!

Because even though my identity is always and only in Jesus, God has surely used these lovely little ladies to change me.  

And that's a really good thing.

But, I'm still never going to wear Mom Jeans.

Easter Thoughts

Jesus didn't come to earth, die on the cross, and be resurrected so that I could make chocolate marshmallow eggs.

Although, they are quite tasty and I like the snap of biting through the chocolate into the soft marshmallow :)


Jesus didn't come to earth, die on the cross, and be resurrected so that we could dye Easter eggs.

Easter dying pictures from last year are HERE

...which is a good thing.  I wouldn't say that dying Easter eggs is my favorite holiday tradition.  Someone's always spilling or crying because they cracked their egg.  Sheesh!


Why did Jesus die?

God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 5:21

I'm so thankful that He did.

Who is Jesus?

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life.  Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live."

And, I am so thankful that He is.

I'm grateful that we get to celebrate the hope we have in Jesus in an extra special way this weekend!

Jesus in Me

We've had some busy evenings lately, so I haven't had much time to blog.

But, I wanted to pop in quickly and share some Scripture that's been super encouraging and a good reminder!

Several weeks ago, Aaron was asking me what was one of the most influential things I'd learned in college.

For me, it was the beginning of understanding that I need Jesus.  For all the things.

I mean, obviously I knew that I needed Jesus to save me, but I felt like living the Christian life was done in my own strength.  

The reality is that I need Him in all areas and every aspect of my life.

I was reminded of this recently while reading some devotions on She Reads Truth.

I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

It's such a good reminder that this life I live, I live and walk and move and breathe because of and in Jesus.

I need to consistently be reminded of that, because my go-to is to "just try harder."

I read something on facebook a while ago that suggested praying a Bible verse every hour to really impress it on your heart.  Plus, we know we're in God's will when we are praying Scripture, right :)

This is my verse!  So, I'm setting the dorky timer on my dorky digital watch to keep Galatians 2:20 at the forefront of my mind.

Will you join me with your own verse?

Comparing Yourself = Disaster

There are some women who can't spend time on pinterest because seeing all of the fun projects, yummy foods, stylish outfits, and beautifully decorated homes reminds them of all of the things they aren't doing and all of the ways they don't measure up.

I'm not one of those women.  Generally speaking, I don't look at other people and see all of the ways I'm not measuring up to them.  I prefer to compare myself to the perfect version of myself that exists in my brain.  Also unhealthy.  

Also not what I'm talking about :)

I tend to compare my difficulties to the difficulties of others and end up feeling ridiculous for having a hard time.

For example, Aaron worked all day Sunday and Monday, and the big girls had off school on Monday.  Plus, they've all been coughing nonstop.  

About the coughing: primarily I feel bad for them, because nobody wants to be coughing that much.  Very secondarily, I'm tired of listening to coughing.  

I am under no illusions that the second sentiment qualifies me for a mother of the year award.

It also bears mentioning that Gracie has been pestering her sisters like.it.is.her.job.

And if it was her job, she would be getting a raise, because she's so darn good at it.  

That girl is effective.

I feel like I should tell you that they are nice to each other, too, and that Gracie mostly keeps her pestering to between the hours of 3 pm and 5 pm...you know, when I'm making dinner.

Aaaaaaanyway, I was feeling slightly overwhelmed with the thought of Aaron being gone that extra time (which really isn't even that much; I just like being around him).

So, I think to myself, it's not that bad.  Single moms do this day in and day out.  Military wives deal with their husbands being gone and in harms way.  My husband is training college students how to talk to their friends about Jesus.  Pull yourself together!

There's an element of truth in there.  I'm huge on choosing my attitude and choosing thankfulness, so that's a good thing.

I am thankful that Aaron is at church and not in combat.  

But, when I decide to just Mom UP (you know, like Man Up, except I'm a Mom and not a man...I made that up myself :)) and put on a happy face, put my head down and push through the hard time, I'm not relying on Jesus.

Just like the times when I think to myself, how dare I internally complain about my girls talking nonstop when they've never needed speech therapy.  

How dare I become irritated by them saying my name over and over and over and over and over again when there are mommies who have never heard their 4 year old child say "mama" even once.

Dealing with a (dramatic) child with a lingering cough is nothing compared to loving a son or daughter who is going through chemotherapy or facing multiple (or even one) surgeries.

I have no business being frustrated by their little sibling spats because they have siblings. I've never dealt with infant loss, miscarriage, or infertility.  I've had all of the blessing and none of the heartache in that department.

Really?  Is it reasonable to be so very annoyed by hitting my head on the cupboard door that I left open?  I should just be thankful that we have a nice, warm, safe house.

Being irritated by them constantly asking for snacks after school is so silly when we have all of the food we need.

I could go on and on about all of the ways I rationalize with myself.  

Here's the problem though: Just Momming Up Doesn't Work.

When I parent or rationalize or, you know, just live life in my own strength, I fail every single time.

And while Jesus wants me to have a good attitude and He wants me to be thankful, He really wants me to be depending on Him to do it.

Just because other people have more difficult difficulties than I do, doesn't mean that I need to shoulder the burden alone.

Instead of rationalizing myself with a heavy dose of guilt, what I really need to do is see Jesus in the mix.

Instead of making myself feel guilty because I'm impatient over something little compared to someone else, I need to invite Jesus in.  

Jesus...you are patient with me when I am stubborn.  Please forgive my impatience and fill me with the patience that You have.

Jesus...I'm sorry that I want to give up and not be consistent when disciplining my daughter.  You persevered through unfathomable agony up to and through being on the cross.  I need You to carry me as I persevere.  I can't do this on my own.

Jesus...I worry about things with and for my girls.  Please remind me that my daughters are worth more than the tiny little birds that You care for and that you have a good plan for them.

Or, what it lacks in being articulate, it makes up for in heartfelt sincerity:  Help!  I need You!

Obligatory cute picture that has nothing to do with the content :)

And about Aaron being gone on Sunday and Monday:  we were fine!  I may have been begging God for help when I was in the shower on Sunday morning :)  

Steph came over on Sunday afternoon and hung out with us until Aaron came home.  I was grateful to have her help and company!  Plus, we even organized a messy closet!  

Bri came running errands out of town with me and the girls on Monday.  She did all of the reaching and behavior managing in the car, and lots of hand holding in the parking lots and stores.  I was so thankful to have her help and company, too!

Additionally, I thought Aaron wasn't going to be home on Monday until after the girls went to bed, but he was home at 6:15.

Today instead of rationalizing, I say we rest...in Jesus.

Instead of Momming Up, I vote we look up and keep our eyes on Jesus.

Instead of living in guilt, let's remember that we're infinitely better walking in grace

If I Wrote a Christmas Letter...(this would be it)

We get so many nice Christmas cards and letters, but I haven't gotten my act together enough to send out our own in...pretty much forever!  

But if I did, this would be it :)

Dear Family and Friends, 

We've had a great year!  

Leah is enjoying 2nd grade!  She's really growing in her love for reading which we are so happy to see.  Academically, she's doing well, but mostly we're happy to hear that she's a good helper and a kind friend.  She's an awesome big sister at home, and every now and then,  we hear her being a peacemaker with her sisters.  She's also started taking her Bible to school and has shown some verses to her friend...very cool!  We pray that she keeps that zeal!

Maggie just had her PreK Christmas concert tonight!  It was so fun watching her sing the little songs and do the little dances.  She loves school, does great with all of her learning, and is a sweet little friend to the other kids in her class.  She is SO tired on school days, though...it takes a lot out of her!  On her days off, she and Gracie play, we read lots of books and play fun games together.  Maggie still keeps us laughing with her silly antics and funny ideas.

Gracie is potty trained!  I think.  Once she decided she was ready, it went relatively quickly.  She is incredibly cheerful and playful!  She likes to make up funny names for people (which is sometimes appreciated by her sisters and sometimes not :)) and do dances with her eyes closed.  She likes running errands with me on Mondays and especially enjoys her reeeeeally long bath on Thursdays when Maggie is in school.  We always appreciate the life and liveliness Gracie brings to our home!

Things are going great with Aaron's ministry, and I've been enjoying helping out in Maggie's classroom and hosting people in our home!  We had an especially full summer with lots of weddings, swimming lessons, and visiting friends.  We're so thankful for the ministry opportunities that God opens up for us and for the people He puts in our lives.

As I reread all that I just wrote up there, I realize that it sounds like we have a perfect little family and a perfect little life.  But, let me assure you, that's not always the case.  The girls fuss at each other sometimes, we get irritated, and we all get worn out and weary.  But, God is always faithful, and we are so grateful that we can find rest and joy in Him.

We hope that you are enjoying this holiday season, and that a midst all of the fun and busy-ness, you take time to reflect on Jesus being born to eventually die in our place.  We are thankful every day for Jesus, our Emmanuel.

Merry Christmas!
Love, 
Aaron, Becky, Leah, Maggie, and Gracie

I'll be back to the blog after Christmas!

We Aren't Doing Much for Advent (plus a Christmas Tradition)

When Aaron and I got married, I remember putting all this pressure on myself to immediately develop and implement several meaningful Christmas traditions.  

Apparently I thought that was my wifely responsibility/assignment/job.

The only tradition I could scrape up was making a recipe for white hot chocolate that we got with some mugs as a Christmas gift.  

I mean, how perfect is that!  Every year I could make this white hot chocolate having gotten the recipe on our first Christmas...awwwwwwww!

I even kept the recipe card and wrote the years that I made it.

Until about 3 years in when we both admitted we didn't really even like the white hot chocolate!

Womp, womp.  Christmas tradition fail.

I then realized that you can't really force a tradition.  I mean, you can set the stage to increase Christmas tradition likeliness, but it's not like a math equation...

Christmas music+recipe+snow+nobody crying=meaningful family tradition

I finally quit trying to force a tradition.  

Now, lest you think I'm a scrooge/grinch person, we still decorated sugar cookies, read Christmas books, listened to Christmas music, drove around and looked at Christmas lights, etc.  I just gave up trying to make something unique to our family and decided to wait and see what came about organically.  

Enter Leah!

We were decorating the tree one year when she asked if she could wear her Christmas dress while hanging ornaments!

You can bet I pounced on that one!  She wore her Christmas dress and it was all very fun and adorable!

The next year, I remembered and was so excited!

We got all the stuff out for decorating the tree, and I said, "Leah!  Let's go get your Christmas dress on and you can decorate the tree!"

She was not having it!

Noooooooooooooo!

I figured that forcing my daughter to wear a fancy dress (which would probably make her cry) wasn't exactly within the scope of happy family traditions. 

But, all was not lost!  I tweaked the tradition a bit, and now we have one :)

I buy Christmas dresses when I'm shopping with my mom, sister, and sister-in-law.

When we start setting up the tree (which is easier said then done...check back tomorrow for that story), I have the girls sit on the couch and cover their eyes.

Then, I give each girl her Christmas dress.

And when I tell them to open their eyes, they are very excited!

They put their new dresses on, decorate the tree, behave in a very excited way, and engage in little girl silliness.

You'll notice in the above picture that Gracie is wearing a different dress than was on her lap.  I brainlessly bought her the wrong size dress! 

Maggie ran to her closet and gave Gracie her Christmas dress from last year.

I make it a personal policy to not use hand me downs for Christmas or Easter, which I know is kind of silly.  I guess it's my way of ensuring that they younger girls have things that are special and unique to them.  Sometimes it seems like Leah is the only one who gets much that's actually new.

Well, Gracie clearly does not share my sentiments, because she was PUMPED to have Maggie's dress from last year!

Problem solved.

So, yeah, that's our tradition!

The other quasi tradition we have is reading The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.

I've been reading the book every Christmas since I was in high school.

Plus, I cry at the end every.single.time. and the girls look at me like I'm a crazy person.

But, I think that's part of the tradition :)

Additionally, we aren't doing much for advent.

Last year I had an activity for every day in December leading up to Christmas.  Many of the activities were actually things that we would do anyway, they were just more special because they were written down on a note card and put in a fancy little envelope.

I just couldn't get my act together enough to make the list this year.

Pretty much the only advent thing we're doing is reading The Jesus Storybook Bible in order every night.  If you read 1 story a night in December, it lines up perfectly to end with Jesus' birth on Christmas.

I felt bad about it for a little while, but then I got over it.  

I realized that a lot of the things we did last year were certainly fun, and we're still doing them.  But not many (if any) really had us eagerly anticipating celebrating the birth of Jesus.  They were pretty much just activities to help us enjoy the season.  

Which is good.  It's good to enjoy the season, but not by way of an angry mommy forcing her kids to do some random craft.

Sometimes I think that as mommies who love Jesus, we put this insane amount of pressure on ourselves to make everything meaningful and Gospel centered and if we don't, our kids won't have a Biblical worldview or won't want to follow Jesus or...all the bad things.  

But, we forget that we don't add meaning to Christmas.

We don't make Christmas Gospel centered.

It already is.

I'm not saying that we should be lazy and ignore teachable moments.

I'm not saying that we embrace materialism at Christmas.

I'm not saying that we promote Santa and forget Jesus.

(I don't really even like Santa that much and the girls found out about him from a cashier at Walmart!)

I am saying that we need to chill out.

Jesus doesn't want us to put the focus on Him with our self effort bathed in guilt and perfectionism.  

He's already the center and the meaning.  

We just need to slow down and ask Him to give us eyes to notice. 

For a really good perspective on traditions and "needing nothing," check out this great post by Kristi from and babies don't keep.  She gave me lots of good things to ponder!

The Best Christmas Music You're NOT Listening To...

In the beginning of December last year, Leah and I went to Andrew Peterson's Behold the Lamb of God concert.  Aaron was supposed to come with me, but Gracie had just broken her leg, and we didn't feel comfortable leaving her with a sitter at that point. 

To say that the concert was amazing would be a gross understatement.  

I have the Behold the Lamb of God CD, which I like, but hearing it live was...simply put...incredible.

I feel like one of those people when I say, "You have to hear it live!  It's just so much better!"

But, really, you have to hear it live, because it's SO much better!

The album tells the story of Jesus birth and plan of redemption, starting in the Old Testament.  There aren't very many stand alone songs, in my opinion, and to get the picture you really need to listen to the whole album straight through. 

AP always does this tour with Jill Phillips and Andy Gullahorn (they're married to each other) and some other musicians.

Sally Lloyd-Jones of The Jesus Storybook Bible sometimes tours with them, too, which is a huge indicator of awesome-ness in my book!

Anyway, I picked up the Christmas CD by Jill Phillips and Andy Gullahorn (cleverly titled "Christmas") when we were there.

And that, my friends, is the best Christmas music that I'm guessing you're not listening to.  

There are several Christmas songs on the album that we all know and love and then there's the best song.  

I'll wait while you listen to this youtube video.  For some reason I couldn't get it to load on here.

Are you back?

I realize that it isn't the most traditional Christmas song ever, but I love the story behind it...which I didn't understand at first.  Then I read this article which helped me understand that the song is based on a story.  The song kind of weaves between talking about the wounded woman in the story and Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Isn't it achingly beautiful?

This is my favorite part:  
Every sin that she suffered at the hands of men
Every single disgrace will be washed clean again
I will love her completely and when I am grown
I will carry her out of that tenement room
I am doing a new thing and soon you will see
I am coming among you and my name shall be
Emmanuel, Emmanuel

I haven't been sinned against in any traumatic way, for which I am extremely grateful.  But, I know people have have been sinned against...real life experiences that make me want to throw up and weep and never let my daughters out of my sight.  

And, what I love about Jesus is that He washes us clean.  

He loves us completely.

He makes things new.

Jesus is Emmanuel...God with us.

For the last few years, Jesus being Emmanuel has been so meaningful to me.  I even was telling my Sunday School kids about it this week.  God didn't have to set it up the way He did.  He could have just zapped Jesus down as a grown up, had Him die on the cross, and then resurrect after 3 days.  Boom.  Done.

But, instead, Jesus had an earthly mom and dad and brothers and sisters.  He worked a job, had a boss, had friends, and, in all likelihood lost His earthly dad (we never read anything about Joseph during Jesus' ministry, so we can reasonably infer that he died).  

I love that Jesus did the things I did, so He knows what it's like to be me.  He was sad, misunderstood, betrayed.  He can intercede for us and the complexity of our lives, because He lived an incredibly complex life.

Jesus can make anything new.  From the situations that are the most dramatic to the most simple...He redeems.

We listen to this CD a lot in the car, and now Leah sings "I Will Find A Way" along with me.  She asked me what the song was about last week, and it was interesting trying to describe what "sinned against" means to an innocent little girl.  I mostly focused on Jesus making things new, plus I fake coughed to cover up some crying, as the song literally moves me to tear every time I hear it.

...especially when I'm driving Leah to school on a hectic morning.  It could be argued that I'm tired :)

If I had a million dollars, I would buy you all this CD/download of this album.  But, alas, we'll have to settle with listening to things on youtube :)

Oh, and while we're on the topic of Christmas songs, you know how "Away in a Manger" is, well, kind of lame, but it's so stinking adorable when a bunch of little kids sing it?  A friend of mine posted this on facebook the other day, and I thought it was excellent.  

So, now when I hear my little ladies singing "Away in the Manger" at church on Friday night, I'll think about how Jesus was willing to give up everything to begin His earthly life by laying in a stinky, rough, non glamorous manger because He knew how desperately we need to be rescued.  

That makes for a very Merry Christmas indeed!